


Shinigami Shenanigans

by 16mistypaw



Category: Bleach
Genre: Bleach Randomness, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 16:06:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16370765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/16mistypaw/pseuds/16mistypaw
Summary: In which a transformation lesson has some unexpected side effects.





	1. Byakuya and the Lawn Ordaments

Byakuya sat in his room, listening. He had been woken by a loud clatter from outside, followed by urgent whispering. He got up and went to look for whoever had woken him. Half asleep, he walked around the halls. Then he moved on to the garden. Taking a look around and finding nothing, he had dismissed it and gone back to bed. After a while, he drifted off to sleep again.

-B-L-O-

"Pick those up and be quiet!" 

The figure hurriedly picked up the items he had dropped, hoping that the squad 6 captain wouldn't come outside to investigate. Hearing the door open, the figure and his partner in crime shoved the items under a bush and climbed a tree thick in leaves and flowers. Byakuya stepped out, did a quick lap around the garden, and went back inside. They waited until they were sure he was really gone, then went back to get the stash. Within an hour, the items were in place, and the figures left in a rush of shunpō.

-B-L-O-

The next morning, Byakuya had gone to have a morning cup of tea in his garden. Tea in hand, he opened the door, only to stop and stare at the ugly things covering his yard. The things were everywhere. They looked like very tall birds, and were a blindingly bright neon pink. Staring a moment longer, he realized that all these strange birds were fake. Noticing a tag on one of them, he tore it off, only to read, KARAKURA GARDEN DECOR.  Well now, he would have to find whoever did this, and teach them not to mess with his garden.

-B-L-O-

Byakuya stepped out of Urahara's shop in a gigai. He had asked Urahara if anyone had used his senkaimon recently, but he had just grinned like an idiot and denied everything. Walking down the street, he had stopped someone and asked them, 

"Could you tell me where the decor shop is?" The lady looked at him like he was crazy, but gave him directions anyway. 

Reaching the store, he walked in and immediately understood why she had looked at him that way. The shop was full of strange, ugly, and tacky decorations. Going over to the counter, he asked if anyone had purchased a large quantity of the pink birds. 

The man nodded, and said, "Yes, two teenagers came in yesterday and bought all we had."

"What did these teenagers look like?" Byakuya demanded.

"One had bright orange hair, and the other had red hair and tattoos above his eyes. Anything else I can help you with?" 

"Thank you, that was all." Byakuya turned and stormed out of the shop, leaving a confused shopkeeper behind.

-B-L-O-

Ichigo was sitting in math class, not really paying attention until the door opened, and a certain captain stepped into the room. 

The teacher went over to talk to him. "Hello, what can I do for you?"

Byakuya handed her a paper, which Ichigo assumed he had gotten from the office to get him out of class. If he was here about that, he was in a lot of trouble. 

"Kurosaki! Pack up, you're dismissed!" 

"But.."

"Now!"

Ichigo reluctantly packed up and left with Byakuya. He was expecting punishment from the captain any second, but Byakuya waited until they were outside to shunpō to Urahara's shop and discard their gigais, bind him in kido, and take him to Soul Society. He dropped Ichigo in his office before leaving, only to return a short while later with Renji, who was tied in a similar fashion. Soi Fon was with him, with an eager look. 

Byakuya gave them a hard glare before speaking. "You had no reason to fill the garden with those plastic monstrosities you call decoration. As such, you will be removing and disposing of everything you placed there. Soi-Fon will be monitoring you to make sure you don't try anything. If you do, she is allowed to discipline you any way she sees fit." With another glare, he left the two to Soi Fon, who seemed a bit too eager to be in command of them.

"Better get moving you two. Don't want to make Kuchiki - Taichou any more angry with you." She smirked as the kidō ropes disappeared.

"Hai, Taicho." Renji replied, while Ichigo just replied with "sure". A hard look from Soi Fon made him rethink his answer to, "Yes Taicho." He didn't want two captains mad at him that already didn't like him.

They spent the next few hours pulling up all the flamingos, and found that pulling them out was a lot harder than putting them in. And Byakuya had found a use for all the birds. Renji and Ichigo would use them for kidō target practice.

Said target practice did not go very well. Most of the spells backfired or exploded, or both, leaving the two a smoking mess. Ichigo had actually set his sleeves on fire at one point from a backfired spell he had tried to shoot. Now he was sleeveless and had bandages wrapped around his arms to keep from burning himself too much with the kidō. And many of the flamingos had needed to be shot a couple of times to completely get rid of them.

Ichigo and Renji were now sitting in Ichigo's room, back in the World of the Living. Ichigo was on the bed, Renji was in the desk chair, and Kon was stuffed somewhere in the bottom of the closet. They were busy plotting revenge for how Byakuya had treated them.

It had taken quite some time to completely get rid of all the birds. With both of the people cleaning being horrible with kidō, there had been more than just a few accidents. Soi Fon had clearly been enjoying the show, and even though Byakuya had not really shown anything, they were pretty sure he had enjoyed it as well. They would get him back for that.

They would just have to make sure not get caught next time.

 


	2. Furry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a transformation lesson has some unexpected side effects.

 

“So, how is this gonna work? I don’t suppose it’s something that can be done first try, is it?”

“Nope! Not at all.” Yoruichi replied cheerfully. She took his folded robes, having made him change into a yukata for her lesson.

“Well, let’s get started anyway. You talked me into this after all.”

“Alright. So, most think that shape shifting is an ability that only I have. That is not the case. Each of the noble houses has the ability to transform into a certain species of animal. The Shihouin can turn into felines, from huge wildcats to inconspicuous domestic species. The Kuchiki used to be birds, but they have long since stopped using and passing down this ability. Same for the other noble clans. The Shiba’s animal is canines, and again, your animal can be a wild or domestic variety. You won't be able to know until you change for the first time.

“Now, on to actually achieving the transformation. Think of it like your Zanpakuto. It has its own unique energy, but it still has traces of your energy because it is a part of you. You can draw on that power to use it, and in turn access your Zanpakuto’s abilities.”

“Uh, okay. I think I know what you’re talking about actually. I’ve felt something besides Zangetsu every once in a while. It’s presence is just barely noticeable, but it’s definitely there.”

“Good. Now, just focus on it, let it fill you. If you start to change, don’t lose focus and don’t stop. Fur is usually the first thing to change, so don’t be surprised.”

“Gotcha.” Ichigo locked on to the strange energy and started to pull. It wasn’t as easy as he had expected, and he had to sit and close his eyes to fully concentrate. After a few minutes he felt his skin prickling, but he took Yoruichi’s warning and dismissed the sensation. The thing that startled him was when his bone structure suddenly shifted, creating an extremely unpleasant sensation. His eyes snapped open, focus lost, and he stared at what used to be his body.

Orangish red fur now covered him, and his hands had turned into padded paws with hard nails. Attempting to stand he immediately fell, the structure of his legs and feet having changed to doglike limbs and paws. But he wasn’t completely dog yet, because he managed to rise and stand like a human. Yoruichi stood in front of him with a small mirror, and he took in the large, furry ears and wolfish muzzle. Something bushy stuck out the bottom of his yukata, and he realized he now had a tail.

“Wha? Uh- eh?!” Ichigo’s voice was deep and rough as he struggled to speak with his new form.

“I told you not to stop the transformation!” Though her words were scolding, Yoruichi was clearly trying not to laugh at him. No, scratch that. She was definitely laughing at him now.

“I look like a furry!” The words were spoken unwittingly from the flustered half-formed canine, and he regretted the words the moment he processed them. Yoruichi was getting way to much enjoyment out of this, and he desperately wanted to make her stop.

Grabbing hold of the animal energy once more he let it rush over him, finishing the transformation. He now stood as a massive wolf, russet fur with rust colored highlights. Yoruichi herself suddenly changed, black cat sitting in front of an angry wolf. She licked her paw and pointedly looked away, dismissive of his presence. Ichigo, unused to the animalistic instincts, found himself lunging after the cat. She lept on top of a nearby boulder as his foot twisted in his clothing and he smashed to the ground.

“Ha, newborn pup is no match for me! Try again when you’ve grown up some, puppy!”


	3. Massage

Ichigo spread the blanket on the floor, then sat and laid both of his swords in front of him. He took the cloth and bottle he had brought, wetting the cloth in his hand. Examining his larger blade, he began to scrub the dirty metal clean.

**“Hey! What are ya doin?”** Shiro’s startled voice sounded from the back of his mind, distracting him from his work.

“Cleaning your blade, what do you think? You’ve not been cleaned like this before, and you’re getting kinda nasty. I mean, come on. Come out here and look at this.” At his request Shiro manifested in front of him. “Here.” Ichigo held up the white-turned-gray cloth for his sword spirit to see.

“I’ve barely started, and I’ve already gotten this much off. Just let me take care of this, alright?”

**“Che, fine. Go ahead.”** Shiro sat on the other edge of the blanket, watching as he returned to work.

Minutes passed, then much longer, Ichigo dutifully scrubbing every inch of the cold metal. Eventually he paused, stretching cramped fingers, and glanced over to his zanpakuto.

“...Shiro?...You okay there?” Said spirit was laying spread on the floor, seemingly uncaring of the uncomfortable wood surface.

**“Hm?”** The reply was dazed and half hearted.

“I asked if you were okay.”

**“Yah. I’m good.”** Deciding it was useless to try and talk to him anymore, Ichigo turned his thoughts inward to speak with his other sword.

_ ‘Yo, Kuro. What happened to your other half over there?’ _

_ “Were you not aware what you were doing? For a Zanpakuto, having our blade polished feels rather good. It’s refreshing, much like a massage, but it seems to have had a rather strong effect on him.” _

Ichigo looked at Shiro once more, who seemed to have simply melted on the floor.

_ ‘...I had no idea.’ _


End file.
